1. It really depends on your relationship.
    If you know he's fine with it, and you have the same goals financially, meaning he's ok with spending up to a certain amount on a ring, then I don't see the problem.

    I decided on my second e-ring. Picked the stone and setting. Not because I didn't think he could do it, but because he had no interest in it.
    The first ring was a 2ct (I could see the inclusion that's why we bought another stone) simple solitare. Second was a 2.52ct semi-bezel Sholdt, my favorite setting. We didn't get the 2nd until 5-6? years into the marriage.
  2. IMO if he has asks, he respects your opinions and seeks your input, I see nothing wrong in speaking your mind. Engagement is a stepping stone into marriage and it's all about unity, team work and open communication. I feel that both partners should be able to discuss such matters.

    On the other hand, some prefer the surprise or the traditional delight in being proposed to with a ring that is hand picked by her partner. Also, nothing wrong with that.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that at the end of the day, the engagement and marriage is yours and if your partner is fine with it, you should not feel like you've offended anyone.

    There's no real etiquette unless you're a gold digger and hoping to receive a huge a** rock that your partner obviously cannot afford. It's not the case here so don't worry too much about it. People have too many opinions. Soon, you'll be hearing about how you should raise your kids........
  3. after being married almost 40 years, my engagement ring has been updated 4 times. When we first got married in the 80's and were young, we could only afford a lovely small set - and even at that, took my DH 6 months to pay off the engagement ring.
    Then as the years went on, and we became more financial stable, we would upgrade my set about every 10 years, and on the 39th anniversary, I received an eternity band, that I wear instead of my plain wedding band. When travelling, I'm not comfortable wearing my wedding set, so just wear the plain band.
    I know that some people are very sentimental and want to keep their original rings, but I wasn't - was happy to have an upgrade.
    Recently, my husband passed, and I had my wedding rings reset into a more practical channel settings, as I plan to continue to wear them. He might be gone, but I'll always be married to him.
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  4. I am so sorry for your loss. what you have chose to do is beautiful. thank you for your reply.
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  5. My Fiancé asked me what I wanted and also to send him pictures so he would be on the right track. I think it depends on his personality what he will be comfortable with. He said he would rather get something I loved than surprise me with something that was not as much my taste.
  6. It's great that your BF and you have such great communication. Quite frankly it's none of anyone else's business. Friends come and go. This is between the two of you only.
  7. Sorry for your loss. The last sentence made me cry. I'm 40 weeks and beautiful things make me emotional!!! God bless you, may you wear them and telive all your fondest memories!!!
  8. If your bf asked it's because he wanted to know, answering him honestly is what you owe to him as his future wife. DH and I discussed what I wanted and even looked at sample sets. Now I upgrade at my leisure and buy whatever I desire at the moment. My most recent set he had made without my input and I love it!!! Good luck!
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  9. Well, not to sound cynical, but husbands come & go too.

    I know a woman who has a bracelet with odd diamond charms on it... Baguettes, rounds, a marquis... Every time she gets divorced she has charms made from the diamonds from her old wedding sets and adds them to the bracelet . I think her current husband is number 4.
  10. I don't see anything wrong with telling him what you like.

    My DH and I had been dating for almost four years before we got engaged so I was leaving nothing to chance. I created a PowerPoint for him and gave it to him for Valentine's Day. (We knew we were getting married, it was just a matter of when.) Really, the PowerPoint was a masterpiece...Set to music, spinning and marching diamonds, valuable diamond information on cut, color, clarity, and carats. The PowerPoint ended with a picture of the two of us and a heartfelt message telling him that regardless of the ring, I would be honored to be his wife.

    A couple of months later he called me and asked how to open up the PowerPoint again. I told him that the only thing he had to worry about was Slide 15, the one on the left. And that's exactly what I got! Eleven years later, I still love my ring and my DH.

    As far as carat size, my friend had the best response I have ever heard regarding that discussion. She said, "Tell him to take as long as he wants, it's a carat for every year." :smile:
  11. It is kind of harsh to declare someone being selfish for not liking something. The bride was simply reacting to the "surprise", or rather major "disappointment". It was a NATURAL reaction. I can relate to her feeling and reaction. I may wear the disgusting ring in the wedding ceremony, but replace it with a simple band afterwards. The problem is the groom. Hope he learns his lesson for their sake.
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  12. Harsh? :lol:
    He just proposed. And per the post, " the look of disappointment on her face was painful to look at."
    At that moment, it shouldn't have been about the ring. And if it was, she really needs to re-examine her priorities.

    There was plenty of time AFTER the proposal, when they were alone, to discuss how she felt about the ring. But she chose that moment, in front of her friends to show her disgust. Please.
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  13. "Learns his lesson" ?? And what chooses a better wife next time lol. One who isn't so concerned with what the ring looks like. No one can read your mind and know what ring you want and not everyone can afford the rock you wish you could sport.

    This is really immature. Wahh! My ring isnt the size I want. Grow up. And if you wanted that much control over what it looks like and how big, buy it yourself?
  14. The only way it would be inappropriate would be if he truly didn't have the means to buy it--if he were a student putting himself through college, etc. In that case it might create a good deal of stress and make him feel inadequate if he can't do it or has to put both of you in debt to manage it. But if he can, there's nothing wrong with letting him know what you'd like.
  15. Good point about the husbands coming and going too. I guess my points was more that IMO it's between the GF and BF, and none of the friends really should have any say in the matter. Even more so because they're not paying for it.
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