1. So my baby is 7 months old now (32 weeks) and will be just a few days shy of 8 months when I return to work. I have been super blessed to have been able to take this much time to bond and just be home with her.

    I am a single parent and literally had a nightmare pregnancy - complete bed rest starting at 7 months, domestic violence, court case, and high risk pregnancy (high blood pressure which led to me finally being induced). It took some time for me to heal and really enjoy and embrace motherhood and everything I endured and just what a joy she is has made me fall so in love with my little girl to the point where it's feeling unbearable to leave her and go to work. I know I have to, it's for her future and security, and I know she'll be in good hands (my mom will be watching her), but to think i'll really only spend weekends with her is just like a knife to the heart. I also don't know how she's going to handle it, seeing as she's never really been separated fromme for more than a few hours at a time. I'll be gone 11 hours a day (frickin 3 hour commute total coming and going) and I'll probably be leaving while shes still asleep in the morning and returning right when we start her bedtime routine. Doesn't leave much time for the two us together:sad:

    Any tips for moms that have been there done that? How do you keep the bond strong? How do you let go of the feeling of guilty... I feel like im abandoning her. I just don't know how babies little brains work and I keep thinking what if every time she naps and wakes she thinks its a new day? and that ive been missing for days? ughhhh
     
  2. It's hard. FT can help so you can see her adorable face when you miss her terribly while at work. Is your job your dream job? Or can you find a job closer where your commute is less? 7 months home with your baby is incredible! You will always be her mommy. Trust when I say you will miss her so much more. That's the hard part. Kids are resilient. Plus it sounds like she will be in good hands.
     
    ccbaggirl89 likes this.
  3. Thank you! Finally someone replied

    You asked is it my dream job? No I wouldn't say so, but the pay and benefits are literally unmatched. I could do my master's for free And earn enough money to possibly but a home within the next 5 years. The way I'm looking at this is, I'll sacrifice and work full time maybe until she's 2 or 3... save my money then work part time while going to school and eventually graduate and start my own business. God willing by the time she's in school I'll be stable enough to be home mostly where I can pick her up and drop her off everyday and really be involved in her life. It's tough... I mean really just so so hard but... No choice. Thanks for the face time too. My mom is so old school and not tech savvy at all but I'll for sure try that!


     
  4. I worked full-time for a year; my son was 14 months old when I started to do that. I wouldn't do it again though (and, indeed, didn't with my youngest). He had to go to nursery though as my parents were too far away to watch him day to day. I think it's different if they're with Grandma. I don't think I would like not having any weekday time with my kids, even if I was securing their future; I think I'd rather work less and have time with them. But everyone is different and needs different things from life. Your 3 hour commute sounds like a killer; I did it once (30 mins in car then an hour on the train each way) and it was too much after 6 months (and that was before I had the kids!)
     
  5. Oh man you've been through a lot! You are such a strong women and a wonderful Mum to be thinking about this!

    I returned to part-time work at 10 months and at first it was hard. I'm at work 3 days a week and now I find it a great balance. I get the adult time and lots of time with bubs. I have my baby (well toddler now!) in day care the three days.

    So here are some suggestions!

    - can you look at working part-time? Say 4 days a week?
    - can you work from home one or two days? That would reduce commute time.
    - can you move closer to work and put bubs in day care?
    - can you move closer to work, get your mum to drive to you a couple of days and put her in day care the other days?
    - can you find a comparable job closer to home?

    For what's it's with my son always loved day care and it was the best decision to put him in at 6 months. Good luck!!!